Who Can? Ewe Can!
by AnotherChance
Summary: Here's one for all you New Zealand readers out there!... Don't hurt me! The XMen are in New Zealand when Magneto attacks! Professor Xavier is about to be killed! What shall they do? Who shall save them! This was a challenge by a work mate of mine... lol.


Conditions:

Mary Ewe- half woman, half sheep.

Superpowers- able to chew through incredible amounts of grass incredibly fast.

Summary- Must make a mention to 'especially for the New Zealand fans out there.

Pairings- Must fall in love with a New Zealander

Plot- Mary Ewe must save Professor Xavier from Magneto because the afore mentioned misguided mutant is trying to crush him (with what I don't know, in a field of grass o.O but hey, it's a challenge)

Author's Note: This challenge was set for me by a work mate, actually my assistant manager. He really doesn't know anything about X-Men… and I regularly bore him upon a Thursday night shift with angry references to the inaccuracies of Smallville… which is DC I know…

I'm writing this as a 'I'm incredibly sorry to bore you every week and I'll risk my credibility to prove it' story, and any and all flames are welcome. I'll openly admit that this atrocity of the Marvel universe will NOT be my best work. :P Enjoy the freak show! Expect OOC characters…

Also, this will be based upon X-Men: Evolution, as it is the time line I know most about.

Who Can? Ewe Can!

Professor Xavier rolled along the foot path in his wheelchair, content at the beautiful day. Fifteen degrees Celsius; what a glorious summer's day in New Zealand. Cerebro had detected the signature of a couple of new mutants in the small country in Oceania, and he had decided his X-Men needed somewhat of a vacation, after dealing with first Magneto, and then the Military's attempt to destroy the mutant 'threat'. Magneto was behind bars, for how long Charles didn't know, but he knew that once his old friend escaped his X-Men would have their work cut out for them. They had earned this brief break.

Scott and Jean walked hand in hand while Kitty and Kurt mimed smooching behind their backs. The destruction of the Mansion had demoralised them, and it was good to see them enjoying themselves again, even if it was at the expense of other students.

Unbeknownst to the content group, a devilish plot was unfolding before them.

Along the path they were walking, which bordered the street their first quarry, a young man named John, lived on, the grass subtly grew longer. Professor X rolled over the grass, even as it grew to entangle the wheels of his chair. He jerked to a sudden stop, and was thrown out of his chair in the process.

Scott and Jean turned around whilst Kurt made a snide remark about how they really needed seat belts for wheel chairs, and as Scott and Kitty moved to help him up again a playing card floated between them. Charles' eyes widened as he saw it. The X-Men sprang into action, Kurt teleported the Professor to safety, Kitty leapt out of the way and Jean used her telekinesis to contain the blast caused by Gambit's powers; the ability to make anything explode, once it leaves his hand. (A/n. I'm not too sure on that one, but hey, that's the info I was able to gleam from the series. I'm more of a DC girl myself)

Kurt deposited the Professor and made ready to guard him against any possible threats, looking around. What he saw both shocked and terrified him. A group of six mutants, all of them powerful, soared towards the group of dumfounded X-Men. A man dressed in ratty clothes was the source of the flaming card; he was wearing a black head band and a cloak that screamed 'rebel'.

The second, a hulking man with a mane of fur that had never been tamed, and biceps larger than Kurt's midsection, stood next to the rebel known as Gambit. Sabretooth was as vicious a mutant as they came, but he wasn't known for his intelligence. "Logan is going to be sorry he missed this." Kurt noted in his German accent.

On the other side of the quickly descending group stood a mutant who was not impressive on his own, but when there was a source of fire nearby he was as deadly as they come. It didn't help he had twin flamethrowers stemming from a fuel source on his back.

Next to him was the martial artist changeling known as Mystique. At the sight of her Kurt hissed, "Mother…" under his breath.

Standing in the centre of the group was the ever imposing Magneto, armoured against Charles' mental techniques as usual. He was the source of their unusual transportation.

And crouching down at his feat, hands outstretched and a slight grin on her face, was someone none of the X-Men had seen before. A young girl, dressed in a green cloak and green sweats underneath, she had to be no older than 14.

Coming closer, Magneto smirked. "Charles, so nice to see you again. Have you met my newest protégé? Thorn's the name. Just wait till you see what _she_ can do."

This most have been a signal, because at that moment Thorn's eyes glowed green and grass grew extra long from the ground to enclose Professor Xavier's legs in a cocoon. Scott aimed at the offending plants, but then thought better of it. A fire was _not_ the best way to free the Professor. Instead he aimed at the girl controlling the grass and was annoyed to find that Magneto shielded her with an up-curved lip of the metal plate. "How did you escape, Magneto? Did Mystique break you out? Or one of your other lackeys?" Scott yelled.

The older mutant chuckled, "My dear boy, why would it matter? You've had the chance to join me, and you all refused. Its time I dealt with you all accordingly. Charles' made a fatal mistake in entrusting his safety to his _students_."

At that Magneto's team of mutants leapt from their suspended platform and engaged in a very one sided battle. Kitty could phase through the grass growing around her feet, but she had to let up on her powers to rest and to fight. Kurt could teleport, but that too took a lot of concentration. Jean flew against Sabretooth, bringing her telekinesis to the forefront as she attacked him with anything loose and available. Kitty phased through all of Gambits attacks whilst waiting for him to let up so she could attack safely. Scott fought proverbial fire with proverbial fire as he met Pyro blast for blast. Kurt squared off against his mother, the perfect example of a dysfunctional family.

The Professor attempted to disable Thorn's powers by using his telepathy to subdue her, but too late he noticed the metallic sheen of a neural protector; developed by the military they stopped telepaths affecting the wearer by sending a wave of energy back along the psychic connection the instant the telepath makes it.

"Argh!"

Magneto and Thorn finally disembarked the flying disc. Stepping calmly, Magneto reformed the disc into a gavel. "Kind of poetic, I think, that you should be destroyed by the very thing you claim to protect. Justice. In reality, Charles, you fought against justice every step of the way. All I wanted was to help humanity. Help it see its faults, and bring it into the new era of mutants! But you stood in my way at every turn. I'm sorry, old friend. I really am." He rose the gavel and prepared to bring it crashing down on the crippled old man.

"Professor!" Four simultaneous cries of horror and desperation, but none of his pupils could get there fast enough…

… elsewhere…

Mary Ewe was ducking behind a bush. They had chased her all the way down the boulevard and she had only just escaped with her wool intact. And wool it was; not hair, not fur. She was part human, part sheep. And all mutant. She heard a cry "Argh!" from around the corner and went to investigate.

What she saw astounded her. A man cocooned in grass, and a group of people fighting. As she watched more, she realised that they weren't just ordinary people; they were mutants. Like herself. She watched as an old man with a helmet formed a gavel from raw metal, and brought it up above the cocooned man.

Mary made a tough decision fast, interfere and risk choosing the wrong side? Or does she wait and see what happened? Choosing the former choice, she rushed to the side of the cocooned man and used her only mutant ability; super fast chewing due to the sheep mandibles in her jaw. She set to work on freeing the man's legs. That done, she freed the rest of his body and barely got him out of the way of the smashing gavel.

When she saw the mutant standing with the old man her draw dropped, still half full of grass. "Rosie? What are you doing?"

The girl in green sneered. "My name isn't Rosie any more, _Mary_. I'm much too powerful for such an ordinary name. Magneto showed me what I can be. I'll never be _Rosie_ again."

Mary glared at her. "So now you're a killer? Is that it?"

A new voice interrupted her "Mary! Mary, are you okay!" The half sheep woman turned to see her boyfriend, the son of a sheep herder from Auckland, running towards her, a crowd starting to form at the mouth of the street behind him. Magneto signalled to his team, who immediately jumped on his newly reformed metallic disc, including Thorn, after one final glare at Mary.

Jack, Mary's boyfriend, ran to embrace her. Scott and Jean ran to the Professor to make sure he was okay while Kitty and Kurt profusely thanked Mary.

Meanwhile, one Aussie in the crowd watched the entire scene unfold, a grin spread on her face. "No one back home is going to believe this… A half sheep woman… which of her parents was a sheep? And in love with a New Zealander at that! This is disputes all of their claims that its just a stereotype! New Zealanders do actually… _do_ sheep. I CANNOT wait to get home…"

The End … Thankgod

A/n. Ok. I know. And I am sorry to those that may/may not have me on AuthorAlert that you got this junk in your inbox. And might I also note that the views expressed about New Zealanders are not my personal views…. Just a joke's funny every now and then. :P Don't take it seriously. I know I could have done a lot more with this idea… but I really suck at comedy, and this will be my ONLY attempt at anything Mary Sue-ish. This challenge only arose because I explained to my work mate what mary sue meant.

I'm Sorry! hides from the thrown tomatos

If you liked this story then immediately quit out of the page and burn your computer, you don't deserve to have it. :P


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